From the O:

In a unanimous vote, the council agreed to limit the fees that companies can charge motorists, create a complaint review process and require tow trucks to release a car without a fee if the driver returns before the truck leaves the scene.

That whole “let the car go without a fee” thing is huge. Many, if not all tow companies charge what’s called a “hook-up fee” just for picking a car’s front wheels off the ground. That fee is usually more than $100 – quite a lot for something that takes most experienced drivers less than five minutes to do. It’ll be interesting to see how business owners handle this – one imagines that the tow companies won’t stop charging this fee even if drivers show back up before the truck drives off, but will instead force the owner of the parking lot or establishment to pay it. Or maybe they’ll just bill the city! Ha ha, that won’t work. Maybe tow companies will just stop working in Gresham.

Anyway, I think we can all agree on one point: Tow truck companies are fucked eight ways to Sunday.

From a news item deal on Erik Henriksen’s website:

LET IT BE RESOLVED:  That the hastily concocted, lazily named “Comic Book Club” shall meet more or less once a month, first at a Portland comics shop and then at a nearby bar.

The first meeting will be at Bridge City Comics, moving later to Amnesia Brewing on Mississippi. If we were in charge, the meeting would happen in the opposite order.

From Richardson’s January 21 newsletter:

“For instance, how about considering the effect on both cost and recidivism for Illegals who are sent to do their time in a private prison in China. With contractual agreements regarding care, treatment, nourishment, basic living conditions, etc., Illegals could be incarcerated for less than $10,000 per year-a fraction of current costs in Oregon. Plus, it would free up bed space and thereby avoid having to build or expand Oregon prisons. California contracts with Tennessee prisons, so why how about Oregon contracting with its number one export partner, China. (Certainly there might be federal issues with moving prisoners across international borders, but creative thinking is about “what if” and not “no, because.”)”

Oh boy, what an idea! It’s basically just like immigration reform, except instead of reforming immigration laws, he just wants to send people to Chinese death camps or whatever. Thing about China is: There aren’t any private prisons! They are all state run – just like basically everything else! But maybe our friend Dennis wants to send folks to China’s lovely Black Jails, which are basically torture chambers for political dissidents and other troublemakers. Sure, it might be, like, against international human rights laws, the exact opposite of US extradition policy and completely fucking insane. But still! Taxpayer money, etc.! WHAT ABOUT THE BUDGET, EVERYONE?

And plus, what about all of those private prison companies that supported those crazy old Arizona immigration laws? We don’t think they’d appreciate you shipping undocumented folks out of the country instead of to their their lovely jails in, like, Idaho and Tennessee and shit, would they?

And wait, Dennis: What about all of the taxpayer money we’d spend on those probably illegal extradition flights to Chinese jails?

This plan raises so many questions!

]]> http://stumptownmag.com/archives/2806/feed 0 http://stumptownmag.com/archives/2792 http://stumptownmag.com/archives/2792#comments Fri, 21 Jan 2011 22:36:35 +0000 Your Editor http://stumptownmag.com/?p=2792 Do you see this moron in the photo above? That, in some places, is how you signal a right turn while riding a bicycle. But not in Portland! So why do you assholes insist on doing it?

Every goddamn day in Portland, I end up behind a cyclist (either in my car or on my bike) who insists on jamming their whole goddamn arm out into space every time they want to turn. It’s fantastic that they’re attempting to inform people as to their plans, re: turning. But they’re doing it totally wrong, and they don’t seem to give a shit.

Now. Here in Portland, as in most other bike-heavy cities in the world (London, for example), riders are required to simply point in the direction they are turning, rather than using arm signals. It’s that easy. Just point at the thing you are about to turn into. Like a street. Or a driveway. Or a goddamn TREE, for all I care. You just have to point at it before you turn. Don’t take my word for it; here’s this, from Bike Portland’s very good bike safety page:

“Hand signals tell motorists what you intend to do. For turn signals, point in the direction of your turn. Signal as a matter of courtesy and safety as required by law.” (our emphasis)

There’s a good reason for doing this: Many drivers won’t know what the hell you intend to do. I mean, half the time I can’t quickly decipher what the hell cyclists are talking about when they use those antiquated goddamn arm signals. I see a cyclist in front of me throw an arm out at a 90 degree angle, and my brain freezes up. WHAT IN THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN? Right? Left? Shit! Are they going to stop? Not stop? TURN ACROSS TRAFFIC? And that’s me, a guy who cycles and drives among cyclists a lot, let alone some bloated khaki-lined douchebag from Lake Oswego who only sees a person on a bicycle if they are five years old, on training wheels and in their driveway.

It’s confusing, is what I’m saying here people. WHEREAS: Pointing in the direction you plan to turn is as clear as clear can be. “See me? That’s where I’m headed. Gangway.” That simple.

This has been a public service announcement. Carry on.