September 29th, 2010 | by Tyler | published in Art/Culture, Features
This just in. Lock your windows, board up your chimneys and lock your children in your basement (as if they’re not already there). September is killer bird month in Portland. These flesh eating tiny birds called “swifts” are named after how quickly they can dive bomb your head and pluck out your tender eye balls…at [...]
September 27th, 2010 | by Your Editor | published in Features, Food/Drink
Oh hi folks. Man, it go so late on us. Well, anyway, we went to Upright Brewing on Friday for the release of its MYSTERIOUS NAMELESS punk rock beer. The Clash is on the label, dudes! Party party party! Your Editor and former SM editor and general shiftless layabout Joel attended the release of this [...]
September 25th, 2010 | by Your Editor | published in Features, Massive Nights
Dang everyone, it looks like filthy college town Eugene turned into freaking Riot City USA or Riot City Africa or something last night. Cops were using tear gas, you guys! Like they do in the movies! We don’t know any more than that, really. Press reports are sketchy, but according to this helpful account, police [...]
September 23rd, 2010 | by Your Editor | published in Analysis, Art/Culture
We wish we could be there, but since we can’t we are demanding that all of you go to tonight’s ninth installment of Ignite Portland, the amazing, sort of techie but insanely fun, um, festival of presentations held every so often (six months or so, maybe?) at the Bagdad. The lineup tonight will literally force [...]
September 23rd, 2010 | by Tyler | published in Analysis, Food/Drink
So we were getting a lot of excited people cheersing the new Apizza Scholls, when in fact, I am a complete ass who can’t read a fucking sign. I was so happy to see my favorite pizza joint do what everyone thinks they should do and get a new location on the west side that [...]
September 23rd, 2010 | by Your Editor | published in Analysis, Food/Drink
Hey dorks, the internet alcoholic newspaper “Northwest Brewing News” just opened the 2010 edition of its readers’ choice poll. Now you can go and write in the names of all of your favorite beers and brewpubs and so on. If you’re sober enough to type! We don’t have any good suggestions for you, really, so [...]
September 22nd, 2010 | by Tyler | published in Features, Recession/Economics
It is true blogworld. Patrick Alan Coleman of the Merc’s Blogtown is leaving us next month. This little Portland blogger will sure miss his bantering and misspelled rantings. So for you Patty, we give you the following video as a farewell…
September 20th, 2010 | by Your Editor | published in Analysis, Food/Drink
Your Editor has this wicked hops plant in his back yard. It’s been growing like crazy all “summer”, over this wooden arch deal we got from Home Depot or someplace. And now, this hops plant is covered in hops – like, tons of the stuff. We don’t make beer. We read that you can make [...]
September 20th, 2010 | by Your Editor | published in Features
Since everyone in Portland knows everyone else in Portland, it’s easy for big, bitchy cat fights to break out over the most minscule shit. Which is exactly how one innocuous blog post about another blog quietly shutting down transformed into some dude yelling, “LOOK AT MY FUCKING BANK ACCOUNT, BITCHES!” for everyone on the internet [...]
September 17th, 2010 | by Your Editor | published in Analysis, Sporting Life
Ha ha, this story is funny for one reason: Apparently, because of bad weather this spring, bears around the Northwest are HONGRY and are turning to human foodstuffs (and probably human, like, children, maybe) for sustenance. This is funny because: SM editor Tyler’s only real phobia is of bears. What a pussy! In case you [...]