August 20th, 2010 | by Your Editor | published in Art/Culture, Features
Oh hey guys. Dang, did you hear this shit: Some crackpot outfit called “MSNBC” or something says that Portland is, by some measure, the fifth-most tattooed city in America. Fifth. That means we’re LOSING. Quick, hipsters: Go get more trees tattooed on your backs! Your city is counting on you! We have no idea how [...]
August 19th, 2010 | by Your Editor | published in Analysis
Top news here, folks: A firecracker or something blew up today in, like, a flowerbed, near an insurance agency, right here in Portland. REVOLUTION? Or just kids fucking around? We’d guess kids fucking around. The fact that this story of some dude throwing a M-80 at a box full of flowers is the LEAD GODDAMN [...]
August 18th, 2010 | by Tyler | published in Features, Sporting Life
For all of you local homeboys, the place all of Portland’s young and penniless, and all of crooked-toothed Troutdale, are hanging out in this heat is apparently the Sandy River. Take it from me, the water is icy, the cops are cool with you drinking by the water, and the sky is bright and open. [...]
August 17th, 2010 | by Your Editor | published in Analysis, Food/Drink
Attention fat people of Portland: The good folks at PDX.FM are throwing you your own national holiday, where you will stand in the middle of the street and eat pig until the elastic waistband on your khakis gives out. Hooray. For the second year in a row, PDX.FM’s Baconfest deal this Saturday will allow you, [...]
August 14th, 2010 | by Tyler | published in Features, Sporting Life
OMG. That water is cooooold!!! I’ll tell you what, you go down the the McKenzie River, right between Sisters and Springfield (outside Eugene), and dip those little “sitting on my ass, reading blogs” feet into that rushing white water and you’ll know the definition of cold. Check it…
August 10th, 2010 | by Your Editor | published in Features, Food/Drink
In an effort to better serve its eight readers, the Oregonian local daily news deal has shitcanned its longtime restaurant critic Roger Porter, in an effort to better speak to “your average Portlander”, who eats at slobby chain restaurants in the suburbs every night. These readers, of course, don’t really exist. Great job guys! Porter [...]
August 9th, 2010 | by Your Editor | published in Art/Culture, Features
As fancy Mercury editor lady and “friend of the program” Alison Hallett pointed out last week, everyone and their great-grannies are lining up to take potshots at our city – and we probably deserve it. As the Merc reported, Lorne Michaels will have something to do with a new short comedy show called “Portlandia”, which [...]
August 9th, 2010 | by Cooking Asshole | published in Features, Food/Drink
It is Sunday evening and after a trip to the coast yesterday and a shitload of painkillers and booze today, I really didn’t feel like cooking up a storm. Sucks for you. Today’s recipe is brought to you by random shit in the fridge I needed to use before it turned and a foggy brain. Let’s begin: Start [...]
August 3rd, 2010 | by Your Editor | published in Features, Food/Drink
Now, some news from that sort of attractive but generally dickish city to the north: Folks in Seattle are doing a lot of hand-wringing this week over whether to allow more food carts on public property. Here’s a suggestion, guys: Don’t. Food carts are nothing but trouble, trust us. As Portland Food and Drink points [...]
August 3rd, 2010 | by Your Editor | published in Analysis
There isn’t a ton of stuff going on this week, so here’s this: The good folks at Decatur Metro took a little tour of the Max this week, and they say: Hey, this ain’t that bad! The DM folks were impressed with two specific things about our generally-running transit system: The fareless square and all [...]