February 22nd, 2010 | by Your Editor | published in Analysis
Our hero, Beau Breedlove, was on the radio this morning talking to the screaming, shitting monkeys who are KUFO’s “hard fuckin’ rockin’” DJs. And did you hear what he said? NASTY WORDS. Words the government doesn’t much care for on our public airwaves. Quick, someone tell the authorities about Beau Breedlove’s filthy mouth! Oh wait. [...]
February 20th, 2010 | by Tyler | published in Food/Drink
GO HAVE A BBQ!!!! Today marks the first of many BBQ days for SM. Nothing screams desiring summer and clear skies than a grill and beer. Have one alone, have one with friends, have one in a park, or hell, have one inside, but have one. It’s that time when all Portlanders pretend that it’s [...]
February 19th, 2010 | by Your Editor | published in Features
It’s everyone’s dream to duct-tape their friends to the ceiling. There is no activity – not sex or skydiving or ANYTHING – that is more enjoyable, or rewarding. To assist all of you fine people in doing this to your friends when they are willing/asleep/unconscious after a head injury, we present this instructive photo essay [...]
February 19th, 2010 | by Matthew | published in Sex/Strippers
So if you’re driving the Banfield west of the 33rd st. exit and you happen to glance south and up the embankment you may have seen the STEAMPORTLAND.COM sign painted on the back of a rather anonymous looking building. You think to yourself, that’s interesting…
February 19th, 2010 | by Tyler | published in Massive Nights, Music/Bands/Clubs, Recession/Economics
Hello again. I’m back from the mountain. I got naked, drank a gallon of whiskey, fought a bear and snowboarded in sleet. Not necessarily in that order or at the same time. It was magical. I’m going to try to have some stuff on the cheap in spirit of the revolution and my nearly empty [...]
February 18th, 2010 | by Your Editor | published in Analysis
Jesus. The Oregonian today thought it was its solemn duty to point out that a trashy British tabloid story about young girls kissing frogs and becoming seriously ill was completely made up. Why do you people have to ruin everybody’s fun?
February 18th, 2010 | by Matthew | published in Food/Drink, Sporting Life
Yeah, so the Blazers are hanging tough, unloading players Steve Blake and Travis Outlaw, acquiring Marcus Camby, and trying to stick around the playoff picture. We, on the other hand, are just trying to throw a cheap drunk.
February 18th, 2010 | by Matthew | published in Recession/Economics, Sporting Life
Watch out folks, the crazies are taking to the skies and flying planes into IRS buildings. Uhm, can you say, ‘Recession Depression’.
February 18th, 2010 | by Your Editor | published in Analysis
Middle school is a terrible place. Kids are at the absolute height of meanness. Pimply, braces-clad boys and girls begin the awkward process of dating. Then, when they break up, those same ultra-mean, consciousless kids bury their former significant others under an avalanche of rumor and innuendo. For almost everyone, it’s an awful, regrettable time. [...]
February 18th, 2010 | by Your Editor | published in Analysis, Food/Drink
Those helpful folks at the Mercury pointed out an interesting study today showing that neighborhoods that have gone through a full cycle of (awful?) gentrification often feature shops that sell delicious, frosty cupcakes. Does your neighborhood have one of these? If so, get your torch and take to the streets.