Just a little post to all of our viewers and friends on the interweb. Happy Thanksgiving, go get drunk and eat some dry ass Turkey. We love you all. Stay warm and have a nice holiday. Gooble Gooble bitches.
Features
Stumptown Magazine’s Food Cart Review: An Occasional Feature
November 22nd, 2010 | by Your Editor | published in Features, Food/Drink
Like every other broke asshole in the city, we too dine at Portland’s fine roach coaches. Some of them are awful. But some of them are totally amazing. Every once in a while, we’ll review them here, because we are Portland’s number one public service news magazine and are compelled to do so by Zeus [...]
This Just In: Falling Off Of Your Bike Is Bad For You
November 16th, 2010 | by Your Editor | published in Features, Sporting Life
Today in obvious news: A yearlong study conducted by actual paid researchers shows that cycling to work and school is typically a very healthy activity. Falling off your bike, however, can result in some degree of injury. Hold on a minute. Let us write this down. Some dudes from Oregon Health and Science University followed [...]
Migration: MPA Dry Hop Adventure
November 10th, 2010 | by Tyler | published in Features, Food/Drink
Your local brewery is adding a new tasty sensation to their fall line up this Friday. Introducing their new and hop-tastic creation MPA Dry Hop. I’m sure all you dudes and dudettes are uberfamiliar with the process of dry hopping (not to be confused with the ever popular dry humping), and what it all means, [...]
Someone Made A Movie About Portland Strippers, Finally
November 9th, 2010 | by Your Editor | published in Features, Sex/Strippers
Strip clubs are the Starbucks of Portland. They contribute countless millions to the city’s economy. They are a draw for thousands of tourists every year. Some of them are even half-way decent! Heyyy Ohhh! Well, anyway. It’s about fucking time someone made a movie about them. Strip City is a documentary about the city’s peeling [...]
Our Important Thoughts On Election Day 2010
November 3rd, 2010 | by Your Editor | published in Features
Hey everyone, did you go out and vote last night at the very last possible minute like good Portlanders? Great job everybody. But hey, look, we still don’t have a governor, which is like super-important! Why did you guys fuck that up so badly? Former professional basketball player and tall person Chris Dudley, after all [...]
Halloween Happened, You Guys! Remember?
November 1st, 2010 | by Your Editor | published in Features, Massive Nights
How was everyone’s goddamn Halloween? AWESOME, OURS TOO. We all got dressed up as a “murder of crows,” which was great because everyone just assumed we were supposed to be extras from Eyes Wide Shut so hey TWO COSTUMES IN ONE you guys! Then we got drunk and danced to the worst DJ of all [...]
Migration Halloween Partay
October 27th, 2010 | by Tyler | published in Features, Food/Drink
It seems like everyone is doing sumpin’ on Halloween this year. Most of my friends are going to a house party, there are great shows at most the venues, Groupon did the whole Haunted Corn Maize ad, so that’s booked, there’s a costume contest on every corner, and I’m sure there’s a Michael Jackson Thriller [...]
Your SM 2010-2011 Blazers Preview
October 26th, 2010 | by Your Editor | published in Features, Sporting Life
Your Portland Trailblazers begin their season tonight against the Phoenix Suns, at the garden, where about 20,000 or so of you will be drunk, shouting for Rudy Fernandez to go back to Mexico or wherever. It will be very exciting! For about four months or so, that is, until the playoffs roll around, at which [...]
The Weather Will Ruin Your Halloween
October 25th, 2010 | by Your Editor | published in Features, Massive Nights
Hi folks! Are you guys like megaexcited for Halloween or what? It’s happening, like, fucking when, this weekend? Oh dudes, toates, it’s totally this weekend! It’s going to be SO GREAT, unless you plan on wearing a costume that involves makeup or painted items of any kind or clothing that needs to remain dry. Then [...]