Stumptown Magazine

Oh god, this is awful: The fancy internet publication “Enzyme PDX” (which we’d never read before, but totally approve of), published a story today about dragon boaters having to paddle through the Willamette River, which is made entirely of human feces. Your editor has a pretty strong stomach for such things, so when a story makes us wince with its fucking OVERWHELMING GROSSNESS, you know it’s something special.

Here’s the offending quote:

Ayla Montgomery, president of the nonprofit DragonSports USA, says she has a set of paddling clothes she uses just for the Willamette. “People don’t understand how gross it is,” she said. “It’s impossible to get the sewer smell out of clothes once it gets in. I have to wear glasses because every time I get splashed in the face, I get an eye infection.”

A fucking eye infection! Vomit. Click the clicky, if you’re not eating your lunch right now.