Stumptown Magazine

Portland has a lot of food carts. Some are very good. Some are not so good. And some are fucking awful. But now, some wiseguy has started a blog featuring IMAGINARY food carts. Way to find a niche in the market, dude!

A gentleman named, um, maybe Bill Oakley started a little blog, maybe yesterday or something, to celebrate the “16 least popular carts” in Portland. All of these carts are imaginary, but some of them are sort of funny. Our favorites are:

• Cooter’s Moonshine & Squirrel Burgers (we’d totally eat here).

• Locally-Raised, Hormone-Free Sauvie Island Road Kill

• Big-Buttocked Sandwiches

Jokes and jokes and jokes. Being the generous souls we are, we’d like to suggest a couple more, perhaps for future lists:

• Fumunda Juice and Beverages

• Horse cock bags

So feel free to use those at will. And if any actual food carts would like to name their establishments either one of those two things, by all means.