Two very enterprising young men decided that the best time to shoplift from Fred Meyer was when, like, 50 cops were in the store, helping little kids get ready to go back to school. They just walked in the store, and while the cops were distracted by the children of Portland, they clipped off price tags and filled their backpacks with Fred Meyer-type stuff. Totally brilliant! What could have possibly gone wrong?
Suffice to say, our heros got THE FUCK ARRESTED, quickly, as soon as one cop took a moment to notice the two gentlemen cramming pringles or whatever into their rucksacks. These people are morons. Here’s our favorite line from the O’s story today:
A couple of Portland officers assisted security in making an arrest, as a clown making balloons continued to entertain the children gathered for the special shopping event.
Just keep looking at the clown, kids. Nothing to see here.