Oh hey guys. Dang, did you hear this shit: Some crackpot outfit called “MSNBC” or something says that Portland is, by some measure, the fifth-most tattooed city in America. Fifth. That means we’re LOSING. Quick, hipsters: Go get more trees tattooed on your backs! Your city is counting on you!
We have no idea how MSNBC calculated the rankings for this poll – apparently it had something to do with the number of tattoo parlors per 100,000 people, which means we’re behind places like Flint, Michigan, where tattooing is about the only industry in town. But still, shitloads of Portlanders have tattoos, because without them, someone might see your jorts and your ironic NBA throwback jersey and think you were just another guy who dresses like he’s in middle school. From the article:
“Like Austin, Portland is mostly 25- to 44-year-olds, but it has more tattoo shops per capita (about 12 per 100,000 people). Considered by “Popular Science” and several other publications to be the country’s “Greenest” city, Portland is reportedly known for its huge arts and crafts community as well as its music-loving residents, nature-loving hipsters and collection of rock music icons — most of whom apparently love body art.”
Sure. “Popular Science.” Whatever.
So anyway, go get more tattoos! It’s Friday, and it’s awesome outside, and none of you have jobs anyway. Stumptown Magazine recommends you get a tattoo of Kermit the Frog sitting on a crescent moon, playing a banjo. It will be ULTIMATELY IRONIC and you will be the coolest, promise.