-Thanks Oregonlive.com-
For all of you local homeboys, the place all of Portland’s young and penniless, and all of crooked-toothed Troutdale, are hanging out in this heat is apparently the Sandy River. Take it from me, the water is icy, the cops are cool with you drinking by the water, and the sky is bright and open. My wife made me take a drive down there the other day, and boy was she right. The water was cold and the sand was hot. Try not to get it in your eye though… it’s a bitch to get out (trust). “Directions?” you say, right this way—->Hop on ol 84 and hightail it east across the traffic filled highway until you start to see a bunch of trucks with dogs and hillbillies hanging out of them. That would be Troutdale. Jump off exit 17 to buy yourself some cold beer and Cheetos and get back on the highway until you cross Sandy and hit exit 18. Here lies the best stopping spot, but also the most crowded. My suggestion…keep going and bring some nice river shoes for climbing. Most people out on the Sandy fit into three categories from what I can tell:
1. Middle class youngsters (late high school to college age)
2. Families
3. Redneck dudes.
That said, remember that you are an upstanding citizen and resist the urge to roll your eyes, make fun of or scold abnormally skinny white ladies that like to jump off tall rocks into 2 foot deep water with their dogs tight on a leash behind them. It does no good. Besides that, enjoy your time at Sandy!! Get there early for good parking and have a good old time with friends. It’s a nice way to get out of the heat and watch Troutdale get crunked.